CARDS

Sold Out

Purple & Gold Foil Birthday Card

$6.00

Sold Out

You Are Amazing

$6.00

Sold Out

Congrats on Your New Home Card (massive debt)

$5.00

Sold Out

Fucking Quitter. I Mean… Happy Retirement!! Card

$5.00

Sold Out

Congrats Grad Graduation Card

Sold Out

Sold Out

Sold Out

Hey! I’m Pretty Fucking Happy You Were Born Birthday Card

$6.00

You’re Kinda a Bitch. But I Like That About You.

$6.00

Partner in Wine Card

$6.00

Sorry I Called You Old (I thought you knew)

$6.00

If I Had to do it All Over Again, I’m About 75% Sure I’d Choose You. Anniversary

$6.00

Sold Out

You’re Retired. Congrats! Can You Watch My Kids?

$6.00

Ho To Housewife

$6.00

You're Getting Married And I'm Getting Wasted

$6.00

Your Chariot Awaits Happy Birthday!

$6.00

Eat, Drink & Be Married

$5.00

Sold Out

Everything Will Be OK

$5.00

From the favorite daughter… the angel, the epitome of perfection, your pride + joy

$5.00

Forty and Fucking Fantastic Happy Birthday

$6.00

Miss Your Freaking Face

$6.00

Marriage is About Accepting Faults. You’ll understand someday if I ever have any. Happy Anniversary.

$6.00

I Can’t Wait to Teach Your Baby Cuss Words

$6.00

Sold Out

Each Wrinkle & Gray Hair Makes Us More Badass Happy Birthday!

$6.00

Sparkler Card Let's Celebrate

$6.00

Time to Transition From Bucket List to Fuck-it List

$6.00

Welcome Little One Rainbow Card

$6.00

21 As Fuck

$6.00

Sold Out

My Vagina Likes You. A Lot.

$6.00

That One Time Your Parents Fucked Card

$6.00

My Penis Likes You. A Lot.

$6.00

I Read That Old People Like Getting Mail

$6.00

Sending Healing Vibes to Your Vagina Card

$6.00

Sold Out

Best Sister Ever Card

$6.00

Same D*ck Forever Card

$6.00

You're Fucking Nuts, But I’m Crazy About You!

$6.00

House Plants Card Green

Sparkle & Fizz Celebration Card

$6.00

Thank You Card

$6.00

Sold Out

Still Not Sick of You Love Card

$6.00

Happy Birthday Bestie Card

$6.00

Happy Birthday to One Hell of a Guy!

$6.00

You are The Only Person I Want to Have by My Side in The Absolute Shit Show of Life. Happy Anniversary

$6.00

You look great for someone born in the 1900s

$6.00

Your Parents Must Have Done it Doggie Style, Because You’re an Asshole

$6.00

Look At You Doing Cool Shit

$6.00

Sold Out

When Life Hands You Lemons, Throw Those Fuckers

$6.00

Sold Out

You Are The Only Person Card

$6.00

Sold Out

Yep, Life is a Bitch

$6.00

To My Forever Friend Card

$6.00

Yes, I Forgot it Was Your Birthday, but Rest Assured, all Other Areas of my Life are Equally Neglected Card

$6.00

Well on The Bright Side, You’re Still Younger Than Me… Bitch

$6.00

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged thing at a thrift store that doesn’t smell.

$6.00

Have A Dope Birthday

$6.00

Sold Out

Holy Shit We're Still Together

$6.00

You’re Only as Cool as The Friends You Hang Out With… and I’m a Fucking Amazing Magical Unicorn… so You’re Welcome

$6.00

Sold Out

You're Going to Do Awesome Things Card

$6.00

You're My Favorite Pain in the Ass Card

$6.00

Sold Out

Age 18 vs Now

$6.00

Sold Out

I Love U To The Moon and Back Card

$6.00

Fuck Yeah! Flowers Card

$6.00

Welcome Little One Card

$6.00

I Can’t Wait to Have Spontaneous Sex With You at 9 PM

$6.00

Welcome to the 40 Club, you old slut! Birthday Card

$6.00

What I love most: you, naps, coffee, other stupid shit. Happy Valentine’s Day

$6.00

I Fucking Love You

$6.00

Sold Out

"Your Birthday Is One Of The Few I Give A Shit About" Card

$6.00

I Tried To Hit It and Quit It but Here we are

$6.00

Sold Out

You Can Cross Dying Young Off Your List Birthday Card

$6.00

Sorry I Called You Old (I thought you knew)

$6.00

It’s so Nice to See Old People Happy

$6.00

Prepare For a Sexy Night of me Wearing Nothing but a C-PAP

$6.00