KEEP IT SASSY

I Love Your Penis Card

$6.00

Congrats On Your Breakup

$6.00

Time to Transition From Bucket List to Fuck-it List

$6.00

Have you tried not giving a fuck?

$6.00

21 As Fuck

$6.00

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My Vagina Likes You. A Lot.

$6.00

That One Time Your Parents Fucked Card

$6.00

My Penis Likes You. A Lot.

$6.00

Sending Healing Vibes to Your Vagina Card

$6.00

I Want to Sit On Your Face Card

$6.00

Best Sister Ever Card

$6.00

Same D*ck Forever Card

$6.00

You're Fucking Nuts, But I’m Crazy About You!

$6.00

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Still Not Sick of You Love Card

$6.00

About damn time Divorce Congrats

$6.00

I heard you have the shits. Get well soon!

$6.00

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You are the Fucking Best Card

$6.00

You are The Only Person I Want to Have by My Side in The Absolute Shit Show of Life. Happy Anniversary

$6.00

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Asshole Uterus Hysterectomy Card

$6.00

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40 Million Swimmers Birthday Card

$6.00

Babies Are A**holes Card

$6.00

You look great for someone born in the 1900s

$6.00

Your Parents Must Have Done it Doggie Style, Because You’re an Asshole

$6.00

Look At You Doing Cool Shit

$6.00

Everyone Needs a Sarcastic Smart Ass

$6.00

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When Life Hands You Lemons, Throw Those Fuckers

$6.00

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You Are The Only Person Card

$6.00

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May Your Birthday be as Magical as Unicorns Farting Rainbows

$6.00

Yes, I Forgot it Was Your Birthday, but Rest Assured, all Other Areas of my Life are Equally Neglected Card

$6.00

Somehow I Still Love You Happy Anniversary

$6.00

Have A Dope Birthday

$6.00

Best fucking Coworker Ever

$6.00

As far as bosses go Card

$6.00

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Holy Shit We're Still Together

$6.00

I'd Rather Staple My Eyelids To My Asshole

$6.00

You’re Only as Cool as The Friends You Hang Out With… and I’m a Fucking Amazing Magical Unicorn… so You’re Welcome

$6.00

You're My Favorite Pain in the Ass Card

$6.00

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You're Not Old. You’re aged to perfection.

$6.00

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Age 18 vs Now

$6.00

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One minute you are young and fun, then before you know it, replacing a dirty sponge with a new one puts you in a good mood.

$6.00

Old As Hell

$6.00

Welcome to the 40 Club, you old slut! Birthday Card

$6.00

What I love most: you, naps, coffee, other stupid shit. Happy Valentine’s Day

$6.00

Happy Retirement Enjoy Bingo And The Smell Of Piss

$6.00

Hope You Don't Poop During Labor

$6.00

With A Fuck Fuck Here And A Fuck Fuck There

$6.00

I Read That Old People Like Getting Mail

$6.00

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Don't Let Your Age Get You Down. It’s Too Damn Hard to Get Back Up.

$6.00

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged thing at a thrift store that doesn’t smell.

$6.00

Fuck Yeah! Flowers Card

$6.00

I Can’t Wait to Have Spontaneous Sex With You at 9 PM

$6.00

Where The Fuck Are My Glasses Years Old Birthday Card

$6.00

You are My Soy Mate Card

$6.00

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"Your Birthday Is One Of The Few I Give A Shit About" Card

$6.00

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We Are So Much Fun

$6.00

I Tried To Hit It and Quit It but Here we are

$6.00

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You Can Cross Dying Young Off Your List Birthday Card

$6.00

Sorry I Called You Old (I thought you knew)

$6.00

Happy Birthday! You Are So Fucking Hot For a Senior Citizen

$6.00

It’s so Nice to See Old People Happy

$6.00

Prepare For a Sexy Night of me Wearing Nothing but a C-PAP

$6.00

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Tomorrow Isn't Promised, Be A Hoe

$6.00

I Can't Believe You Just Willingly Chose to Put Up with My Shit

$6.00

Fuck Cancer Rainbow Card

$6.00

Whore Rainbow Card

$6.00

You're Better Off Without That Douche

$6.00

Fuck I Forgot Your Birthday

$6.00

Don't Let Any Dickbag Kill Your Vibe

$6.00

Another Year Sober Still A Badass Bitch

$6.00

Est. 1984 New Decade, Still Fucking Fabulous

$6.00

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Happy Birthday To A Fucking Legend

$6.00

Good Luck At Your Stupid New Job Card

$6.00

Happy Birthday To An Ancient Artifact

$6.00

Happy Anniversary From The Best Damn Thing You Ever Found On The Internet

$6.00

Like Father Like Daughter AKA Fucking Fantastic

$6.00