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BUILD A BOX
ACCESSORIES
APPAREL
ASTROLOGY
BABY + KIDS
BATH + BODY
CANDLES
CARDS
DRINKWARE
FOOD + DRINK
FOR THE CAR
KITCHEN + HOME
PENS + PAPER + BOOKS
PETS
PUZZLES + GAMES
STICKERS + BUTTONS + PINS
SIGNS + MAGNETS
WORK
ALL THE SASSY STUFF
OTHER SHIT
THE FLOWER BAR
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1064 products
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Since I don’t qualify for a She Shed, I want a Bitch Barn. Koozie
$6.00
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Cheaper than therapy. Slim Koozie
$6.00
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The tiny humans stole my sanity. Koozie
$6.00
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Warning: Alcohol consumption will make you believe you’re whispering… I assure you , you’re not. Koozie
$6.00
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Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Slim Koozie
$6.00
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I’m not slurring my words I’m talking in cursive. Slim Koozie
$6.00
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Dad Koozie
$6.00
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Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk past again? Koozie
$6.00
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You're 8 Beers from Being my Type Away Koozie
$6.00
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First Sight Koozie
$5.00
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MILF Man I Love Fishing. Slim Koozie
$6.00
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Men are trash and I’m a raccoon. Slim Koozie
$6.00
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I’m not slurring my words I’m talking in cursive. Koozie
$6.00
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Bridesmaid Slim Can Koozie
$5.00
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Working so my dog can live better than me Iced Coffee Sleeve
from $10.00
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Fueled by coffee and existential dread Iced Coffee Sleeve
from $10.00
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Another beautiful day ruined by Responsibilities Iced Coffee Sleeve
from $10.00
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I don’t mind coming to work, but waiting 8 hours to go home is bullshit.
$6.00
Sold Out
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Anyone getting to the point where it would be OK if Jolene came and took your man?
$6.00
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Listen, if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me because we weren’t there. We don’t know what happened…
$6.00
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Therapist: and What do we do When we Are Sad? Me: Add to Cart. Therapist: No.
$6.00
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Fun Fact: If you refill a wine glass before it’s empty, it still counts as one glass.
$6.00
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Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for 11 minutes.
$6.00
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“That candle smells like Fireball” “Us non-alcoholics like to call that cinnamon, Becky”
$6.00
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Are You Drunk?
$6.00
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HR said I’m not allowed to make up names for my coworkers. I hope Frankie Fuckface is fucking happy now…
$6.00
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Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.
$6.00
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You know you’re getting old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone you get to the year and you have to spin that bitch like you’re on Wheel of Fortune
$6.00
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(Me at work) I don’t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this sober
$6.00
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.
$6.00
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Sometimes I look at people and think “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”
$6.00
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Let me check my Giveashitometer. Nope, nothing.
$6.00
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I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed. Now I’m worried about my vagina.
$6.00
Sold Out
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When someone tells me I look familiar, I tell them, “I do porn.”
$6.00
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Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood
$6.00
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Most people can’t tell if I’m being sincere or a smartass. It’s kind of a gift.
$6.00
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My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
$6.00
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Me: I love the swim-up bar at this resort! Husband: You’re in the bath and you’re drunk again
$6.00
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My kid is turning out just like me, well played, karma. Well-played.
$6.00
Sold Out
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At my funeral take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it at the crowd to see who is next.
$6.00
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Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
$6.00
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I just fired myself from cleaning the house. I don’t like my attitude & I got caught drinking on the job.
$6.00
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And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids.
$6.00
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I wish I had more Middle Fingers
$6.00
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Wife: “I’m Pissed!” Husband: “Again or still?”
$6.00
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I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”
$6.00
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Teacher: “Name a book that made you cry.” Me: Algebra
$6.00
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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.
$6.00
Sold Out
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This whole “kill them with Kindness” thing is taking way longer than anticipated
$6.00
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Find a man who strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn’t even care that it’s on your legs.
$6.00
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Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself, wow… He is one lucky son of a bitch.
$6.00
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I Can't Wait To Retire So I Can Get Up At 6 O'clock In The Morning And Go Drive Around Really Slow And Make Everybody Late For Work
$6.00
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I still don't know what a wine stopper is for. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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May your teeth be as white as your dance moves. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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Try My New Recipe, They’re Shut The Fucupcakes. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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Are we having drinks? Or are we having dranks? I need to dress accordingly. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Thank you, Craft Beer Breweries, for making my drinking problem seem like a neat hobby. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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I love Bacon because you can wrap it around everything. It is basically the duct tape of food. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Part of me says, “I should stop drinking like this.” But the other part of me says, “Don’t listen to her. She’s drunk.” Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Beware of the dog. The cat is shady as hell also. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Dumbfuckery Tea Towel
$14.00
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I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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*Medium Chunky Salsa* Me too, salsa. Me too. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink… You're an amateur and we can't be friends. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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I don’t know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what - I’ve never been sad at a Mexican restaurant. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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My Spirit Animal Is A Fat Raccoon Trying To Get Into a Dumpster. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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My housekeeping style is best described as there appears to have been a struggle. Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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Way too many of our stories end with, “and that’s why we can never go back there.” Kitchen Tea Towel
$10.00
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Eat a salad they said, it’s healthy. You know what never gets recalled? Pie. Team pie. Kitchen Tea Towel
$14.00
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Procrastination is a good thing
$14.00
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I'm just a mom standing in front of my kid's room
$14.00
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I keep the subtitles on because sometimes I'm just snackin' too loud.
$14.00
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They Should Put More Wine In A Bottle
$14.00
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Husband said calm down
$14.00
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