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BUILD A BOX
ACCESSORIES
APPAREL
ASTROLOGY
BABY + KIDS
BATH + BODY
CANDLES
CARDS
DRINKWARE
FOOD + DRINK
FOR THE CAR
KITCHEN + HOME
PENS + PAPER + BOOKS
PETS
PUZZLES + GAMES
STICKERS + BUTTONS + PINS
SIGNS + MAGNETS
WORK
ALL THE SASSY STUFF
OTHER SHIT
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2093 products
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Winter Box + Shred
$12.00
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The Teal Box Gift Card
from $25.00
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Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself, wow… He is one lucky son of a bitch.
$6.00
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Teacher: “Name a book that made you cry.” Me: Algebra
$6.00
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This whole “kill them with Kindness” thing is taking way longer than anticipated
$6.00
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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.
$6.00
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Find a man who strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn’t even care that it’s on your legs.
$6.00
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Wife: “I’m Pissed!” Husband: “Again or still?”
$6.00
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I just fired myself from cleaning the house. I don’t like my attitude & I got caught drinking on the job.
$6.00
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I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”
$6.00
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I wish I had more Middle Fingers
$6.00
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And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids.
$6.00
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Most people can’t tell if I’m being sincere or a smartass. It’s kind of a gift.
$6.00
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My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.
$6.00
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Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood
$6.00
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I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed. Now I’m worried about my vagina.
$6.00
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At my funeral take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it at the crowd to see who is next.
$6.00
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Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
$6.00
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When someone tells me I look familiar, I tell them, “I do porn.”
$6.00
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Me: I love the swim-up bar at this resort! Husband: You’re in the bath and you’re drunk again
$6.00
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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.
$6.00
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(Me at work) I don’t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this sober
$6.00
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Sometimes I look at people and think “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”
$6.00
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Let me check my Giveashitometer. Nope, nothing.
$6.00
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I don’t mind coming to work, but waiting 8 hours to go home is bullshit.
$6.00
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Anyone getting to the point where it would be OK if Jolene came and took your man?
$6.00
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Listen, if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me because we weren’t there. We don’t know what happened…
$6.00
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Therapist: and What do we do When we Are Sad? Me: Add to Cart. Therapist: No.
$6.00
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Fun Fact: If you refill a wine glass before it’s empty, it still counts as one glass.
$6.00
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Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for 11 minutes.
$6.00
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“That candle smells like Fireball” “Us non-alcoholics like to call that cinnamon, Becky”
$6.00
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Are You Drunk?
$6.00
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HR said I’m not allowed to make up names for my coworkers. I hope Frankie Fuckface is fucking happy now…
$6.00
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Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.
$6.00
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You know you’re getting old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone you get to the year and you have to spin that bitch like you’re on Wheel of Fortune
$6.00
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Car Coaster Camping Without Beer
$5.00
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Car Coaster I Am the Friend You Have to Explain
$5.00
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Car Coaster If It Wasn't For Jumping To Conclusions
$5.00
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Car Coaster Give me Wine
$5.00
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Car Coaster Time to Clean My Purse
$5.00
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Car Coaster Sorry to Push All Your Buttons
$5.00
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Car Coaster Dozen Cats Really Happy
$5.00
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Car Coaster We Go Together
$5.00
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Car Coaster Everything's Fine
$5.00
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Car Coaster Tried to be Normal Once
$5.00
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Car Coaster I'm Not Arguing
$5.00
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Car Coaster Love and a Cat
$5.00
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Car Coaster Once In A While Someone Amazing
$5.00
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Car Coaster Yes I Really Do Need All These Plants
$5.00
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Car Coaster I'm A Multitasker
$5.00
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Car Coaster Chicken Pot Pie
$5.00
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Car Coaster I May Be Wrong
$5.00
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Car Coaster You Call Them Swear Words
$5.00
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Car Coaster Rock Bottom Basement
$5.00
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Car Coaster Don't F*@k Up My Car
$5.00
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Car Coaster My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open
$5.00
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I used to be cool, now I’m a Tiny person’s snack bitch Koozie
$6.00
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Everybody Chill, Dad is on the Grill Koozie
$6.00
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If stupid could fly you’d be a jet. Koozie
$6.00
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You look like something I drew with my left hand. Koozie
$6.00
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Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk past again? Koozie
$6.00
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Since I don’t qualify for a She Shed, I want a Bitch Barn. Koozie
$6.00
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Warning: Alcohol consumption will make you believe you’re whispering… I assure you , you’re not. Koozie
$6.00
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I’m not slurring my words I’m talking in cursive. Slim Koozie
$6.00
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First Sight Koozie
$5.00
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When one door closes and another door opens, you’re probably in prison. Koozie
$6.00
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I Believe in Holding Grudges I’ll Heal in Hell Mug
$17.00
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Out of Order
$17.00
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I Just Dropped My New Single. It's Me. I'm Single.
$17.00
Sold Out
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A Wise Woman Once Said Fuck This Shit!
$17.00
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Pretending To Be Polite Is So Exhausting
$17.00
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Banned From Mom Groups
$17.00
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Instead of a Grandchild May I Interest You In a Plant
$17.00
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Being Cremated Is My Last Hope For a Smoking Body
$17.00
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Does it look like I Rise & Shine? Mug
$14.00
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