SIGNS + MAGNETS

I Never Dreamed I'd Grow Up To Be An Asshole but Here I am Killing it

Fucking Quitter -Oops I Mean- Happy Retirement!

Plant Mom

We Sleep Around

I Hope We Are Friends until we die… and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people!

Motherfuckers Think They can Have Their Cake and eat it, too. Wrong Bakery, Bitch!

A Wise Woman once said “fuck this shit” and she lived happily ever after

We Had Sex In This Room Wood Sign

You Are My Sunshine Wood Sign

The Dog Has Been Fed, Don’t Listen to His Bullshit

Do Me - The Laundry

Seriously. Flush The Fucking Toilet

Pumpkin spice is my favorite season

Pumpkin spice makes everything nice

I'm a Ray of Fucking Sunshine Magnet

Ten Minutes at Work and I Start Using “Fuck” as a Comma Magnet

Doing my fucking best - Magnet

Not an Introvert - Magnet

I tried starting a day without coffee once magnet

People. Am I right? Magnet

Pull Your Shit Together - Magnet

Festive As Fuck Magnet

We Wanted to Be Adults so Bad Now Look at Us

I Get Paid to be Nice at Work Magnet

Some Days The Best You Can do is Not Shit Your Pants Magnet

I'm a goddamn genius - Magnet

It's beginning to look a lot like Fuck This Magnet

Make today your bitch magnet

Fuck This Shit Magnet

I’m a Slut for Tacos a Tac-Ho if You Will. Magnet

I Heard What You Did For a Klondike Bar - Call Me. Magnet

Lying about my Age Magnet

Live, Laugh, Love and Go Fuck Yourself Magnet

Sometimes I Have to Tell Myself Magnet

I’m not sure how you have your foot in your mouth, head in your ass, and nose in my business, yet here we are, you fucking wizard. Magnet

Fuck Off I'm Tired Magnet

Exercise Make You Look Better Magnet

Kitchen Sex Magnet

Everything Hurts and I'm Dying - Magnet

If you see me talking to myself, do not disturb, I’m having a staff meeting. Magnet

When things seem especially rough, just ask yourself, “Did I shit my pants today?” And if the answer is no, you’re doing alright. Magnet

Department Of Fuckery Magnet

I farted. That’s as close to giving a shit as you’re going to get. Magnet

Red Truck Christmas Holiday Magnet

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine and into your brain. That’s where shitty ideas come from. Magnet

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a dog, but it is what it is. Magnet

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions? Magnet

Woke up this morning with a cup of water and a note next to my bed that said, “For Your Hangover.” I took a sip and it was alcohol. Drunk me is an asshole. Magnet

Relationship Status: Single, Taken, IDK cursed or something. Magnet

Some people didn’t fall from the stupid tree… They were dragged through the entire Dumbass Forest. Magnet

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it’s probably shit. Magnet

I never wish death upon anyone who wrongs me, I wish for sudden explosive diarrhea while stuck in traffic…. with frequent sneezes. Magnet

I Don't Dwell on my Mistakes, I Have Family For That. Magnet

Fun Fact: If you drink wine fast enough, Fitbit thinks you're running. Magnet

Ever been so drunk you got hit by a parked car? Magnet

You're Not Hungry, You're Just Stoned - Magnet

Trust me when I woke up Plan to Be Awesome… shit happens Magnet

Let's Read Books and Ignore People Magnet

I Have No Idea What The Fuck I'm Doing Magnet

Just One Chapter Book Magnet

Takes A Lot Of Balls to golf like I do sign

Be You The World Will Adjust

Boats and Booze Magent

I'm not sure where you learned to Whisper Magnet

If I wanted to talk to an Asshole Magnet

Does anyone else pack Underwear for a Trip Magnet

If you're happy and you know it Magnet

Drunkest Bunch Of Assholes Wood Sign

When My Children Are Grown Wood Sign

Don't Trust Anyone Who doesn't Drink Coffee

"I Do Yoga" White Magnet

"List Of Things" White Magnet

Had to Clean My House Magnet

List of People I like Magnet

Fireball Magnet