KITCHEN + HOME

I got called pretty today!

Damn I woke up sexy again

Driving down a road and saw my ex coaster

Me: I'm actually happy right now.

I hate it when I go to the kitchen

It's 6 months since I joined the gym

Them "You need to listen to your body more."

Husband: What's for dinner?

When My Kids Say Daddy, i want mommy

I now know how it will all end for me

Me: I want to travel

You know you’re getting old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone you get to the year and you have to spin that bitch like you’re on Wheel of Fortune

Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.

Most people can’t tell if I’m being sincere or a smartass. It’s kind of a gift.

I wish I had more Middle Fingers

I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from You Probably shouldn't say that

I just fired myself from cleaning the house. I don’t like my attitude & I got caught drinking on the job.

Wife: I’m Pissed! Husband: “Again or still?”

Find a man who strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn’t even care that it’s on your legs.

I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.

This whole “kill them with Kindness” thing is taking way longer than anticipated

Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself, wow… He is one lucky son of a bitch.

Wooden Plant Markers

Seedy MF Small Planter

It's A Good Day Trinket Tray

LOVE- Large Rectangle Trinket Tray

Shit I Don't Want To Lose Trinket Tray

Best Bitches Trinket Tray

Ray of Fucking Sunshine Smiley Face Trinket Tray

Plant Slut Candle

You Make The World A Better Place Trinkey tray

Grill Master Tea Towel

It's Tea Time Mother Fucker Tea Towel

Suck It Tea Towel

This Home Is Built On Love Embroidery Kit

Fuck You're Forty Candle

A Wise Woman Once Said Fuck This Shit Candle

Smells like.. freshly signed divorce papers Candle

I'm Just Like Other Mums candle

Color Grow Kits

In Every Relationship There Is One Person Who Stacks The Dishwasher

I Amuse The Shit Out Of Myself

Me at work: I don’t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this sober

Ive got PMS, OCD, and ADD

I Talk An Awful Lot of Smack

Chicken pot pie

This Bitch Can Bake Apron

Bitch I Am The Secret Ingredient Apron

Look at me. Getting all married and shit. Cocktail Napkins

My body asked for water funny and sassy Cocktail Napkins

What's in the bottle? Just some water

I Hope Your New Neighbors Aren't Jerks Wine Label.

It's All Shits & Giggles Sign

What if a soy latte is just a regular latte

I Bake Cupcakes And Say Fuck A Lot Spatula

This Bitch Can Bake Spatula

Chill Girl Era Metal Tray

Kiss The Cook Serving Tray

Show Supervisor Apron

Rainbow Spiral Suncatcher Wind Chime

Chakra Garden Spinner

Live, Laugh, Fuck Off Tea Towel

Meowdy Partner Embroidery Kit

Shut The Fuck Up Cakes Tea Towel

Feed All you Fuckers Oven Mitt

Hot Shit Oven Mitt

Parsley Sage Rosemary and Fuck Off Oven Mitt

Secret Ingredient Oven Mitt

The Food Has Weed In It Oven Mitt

Fucking Delicious Oven Mitt

Fuck List Wood Sign

Deserves A Slow Clap Spoon Rest

Send Dip Pics Bowl w/ Spreader

Tastes Better Than Salad Spatula

Most People Have Ah-Ha Moments