KEEP IT SASSY

Jingle Till You Tinkle Cocktail Napkins

$9.00

It's a Throat Punch Kind Of Day

$17.00

My favorite position? CEO. Mug

$14.00

Does it look like I Rise & Shine? Mug

$14.00

Sorry Santa

$6.00

Cup only half full new bra Mug

$16.00

Fucker in charge of all you fucking fucks white tumbler

$16.00

I love cock tails. Wine Tumbler

$16.00

Chocolate, Wine, Men: Some Things Are Just Better Rich

$14.00

Just An Old Ho Carrying On

$17.00

Calm Your Tits Mug

$17.00

I know I’m your Favorite Employee I mean look around. Mug

$16.00

Shit Show Supervisor. See also: Miracle worker, superhero. Mug

$16.00

Because Kids Wine Glass

$16.00

Because Husbands

$16.00

"Wine Because It's Not Good To Keep Things Bottled Up" Wine glass

$16.00

Born and Raised in Wishabitch Woods

$17.00

Golden Years My Ass. Flask

$16.00

Everybody Chill, Dad is on the Grill Koozie

$6.00

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I used to be cool, now I’m a Tiny person’s snack bitch Koozie

$6.00

When one door closes and another door opens, you’re probably in prison. Koozie

$6.00

Fa La La La Let's Drink Christmas Card

$6.00

If stupid could fly you’d be a jet. Koozie

$6.00

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You look like something I drew with my left hand. Koozie

$6.00

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Elf on a Go Fuck Yourself Candle

$22.00

Since I don’t qualify for a She Shed, I want a Bitch Barn. Koozie

$6.00

Warning: Alcohol consumption will make you believe you’re whispering… I assure you , you’re not. Koozie

$6.00

I’m not slurring my words I’m talking in cursive. Slim Koozie

$6.00

Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I need to walk past again? Koozie

$6.00

First Sight Koozie

$5.00

Fueled by coffee and existential dread Iced Coffee Sleeve

from $10.00

Another beautiful day ruined by Responsibilities Iced Coffee Sleeve

from $10.00

I don’t mind coming to work, but waiting 8 hours to go home is bullshit.

$6.00

Jolly As Fuck Trinket Tray

$15.00

Anyone getting to the point where it would be OK if Jolene came and took your man?

$6.00

Listen, if drunk me said or did something, you gotta take it up with drunk me. Don’t come at sober me because we weren’t there. We don’t know what happened…

$6.00

1980 Caddy Day Bushwood CC Golf Tournament Champion Christmas Ornament

$10.00

Therapist: and What do we do When we Are Sad? Me: Add to Cart. Therapist: No.

$6.00

Fun Fact: If you refill a wine glass before it’s empty, it still counts as one glass.

$6.00

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Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for 11 minutes.

$6.00

“That candle smells like Fireball” “Us non-alcoholics like to call that cinnamon, Becky”

$6.00

Are You Drunk?

$6.00

HR said I’m not allowed to make up names for my coworkers. I hope Frankie Fuckface is fucking happy now…

$6.00

Overall, I love you more than I want to strangle you.

$6.00

You know you’re getting old anytime you’re entering your DOB with a smartphone you get to the year and you have to spin that bitch like you’re on Wheel of Fortune

$6.00

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(Me at work) I don’t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this sober

$6.00

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.

$6.00

Sometimes I look at people and think “Really? That’s the sperm that won?”

$6.00

Let me check my Giveashitometer. Nope, nothing.

$6.00

I didn’t wear earrings for a long time and the holes closed. Now I’m worried about my vagina.

$6.00

When someone tells me I look familiar, I tell them, “I do porn.”

$6.00

Mr. Rogers did not adequately prepare me for the people in my neighborhood

$6.00

Most people can’t tell if I’m being sincere or a smartass. It’s kind of a gift.

$6.00

My ability to remember song lyrics from the 80s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.

$6.00

Me: I love the swim-up bar at this resort! Husband: You’re in the bath and you’re drunk again

$6.00

At my funeral take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it at the crowd to see who is next.

$6.00

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

$6.00

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I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas. But if the White runs out, I’ll Drink the red. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

I just fired myself from cleaning the house. I don’t like my attitude & I got caught drinking on the job.

$6.00

And then one day we decided we were tired of sleeping in & doing whatever we wanted in a clean house, so we had kids.

$6.00

I wish I had more Middle Fingers

$6.00

Wife: “I’m Pissed!” Husband: “Again or still?”

$6.00

This bottle of wine tastes like all the presents are going in gift bags this year. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

Naughty, Nice, an Attempt was Made

$6.00

Dasher Dancer Prancer Vixen Moscato Vodka Tequila Blitzen

$6.00

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“ And when Santa squeezes his fat ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.” -Clark Griswold

$6.00

I’ve reached that age where my brain goes from “You probably shouldn’t say that.” to “What the hell, let’s see what happens.”

$6.00

Teacher: “Name a book that made you cry.” Me: Algebra

$6.00

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I came, I saw, I forgot what I was doing, retraced my steps, got distracted on my way back, have no idea what’s going on and now I have to pee.

$6.00

This whole “kill them with Kindness” thing is taking way longer than anticipated

$6.00

Find a man who strokes your hair and says how soft it is and doesn’t even care that it’s on your legs.

$6.00

Sometimes I stare at my husband when he isn’t looking and I think to myself, wow… He is one lucky son of a bitch.

$6.00

I Can't Wait To Retire So I Can Get Up At 6 O'clock In The Morning And Go Drive Around Really Slow And Make Everybody Late For Work

$6.00

I still don't understand what a wine stopper is for

$10.00

May your teeth be as white as your dance moves. Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00