KEEP IT SASSY

Try My New Recipe, They’re Shut The Fucupcakes. Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00

Are we having drinks? Or are we having dranks? I need to dress accordingly. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

Thank you, Craft Beer Breweries, for making my drinking problem seem like a neat hobby. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

100% unbleached cotton dish towel that reads "I love bacon because you can wrap it around everything. It's basically the duct tape of food"

I love Bacon because you can wrap it around everything. It is basically the duct tape of food. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

Part of me says, “I should stop drinking like this.” But the other part of me says, “Don’t listen to her. She’s drunk.” Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that shit with your heart. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

Beware of the dog. The cat is shady as hell also. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

I'm outdoorsy in that I like drinking on patios. Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00

Medium Chunky Salsa Me too, salsa. Me too. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

If you have to ask if it’s too early to drink… You're an amateur and we can't be friends. Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00

I don’t know the secret to happiness, but I tell you what - I’ve never been sad at a Mexican restaurant. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

My Spirit Animal Is A Fat Raccoon Trying To Get Into a Dumpster. Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00

Way too many of our stories end with, “and that’s why we can never go back there.” Kitchen Tea Towel

$10.00

Eat a salad they said, it’s healthy. You know what never gets recalled? Pie. Team pie. Kitchen Tea Towel

$14.00

I keep the subtitles on because sometimes I'm just snackin' too loud.

$14.00

They Should Put More Wine In A Bottle

$14.00

Husband said calm down

$14.00

Fuckity Fuck Fuck Apron

$30.00

Rise And Shine Bitches!

$14.00

When In Doubt Pull It Out

$14.00

I Bake Shit And I Avoid People

$14.00

The Food Has Weed In It Spatula

$18.00

Baking Some Shut The Fucupcakes Spatula

$18.00

Sold Out

Look At You Buying A House & Shit

$22.00

I Am A Ray Of Fucking Sunshine

$22.00

Merry Christmas Asshole Card

$6.00

You're Like Really Hard To Shop For

$22.00

Holy Shit, You're Old!

$22.00

Happy Fucking Birthday

$22.00

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Look At You Getting A New Job & Shit

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Smells like Retirement

$22.00

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Thanks For All The Orgasms

$22.00

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You're My Favorite Bitch To Bitch About Bitches

$22.00

You're My Favorite Thing To Do

$22.00

My Last Fuck

$22.00

Adulting, Would Not Recommend

$22.00

Good Luck Finding Better Co-Workers Than Us

$22.00

Merry AF

$14.00

We'll Be Friends Until Were Old And Senile

$22.00

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I Fucking Love Your Butt

$22.00

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I Hate Everyone Except Us

$22.00

Too Cute for Ugly Sweaters

$14.00

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Morning Wood

$22.00

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Thanks For Being My Unpaid Therapist

Cancer, You Picked The Wrong Bitch

$22.00

It's Your Fucking Birthday

$22.00

Plant Slut Candle

$22.00

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I love how I'm less of a disappointment to you than your other kids

$22.00

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I prefer cats to people

$22.00

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Let's Get Lit cocktail napkins

$9.00

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Fifty and fucking fabulous

$22.00

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Sixty and fucking fabulous

$22.00

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Burning candles.. because setting fire to people I fucking hate is frowned upon

$22.00

Smells like.. freshly signed divorce papers

$22.00

Hold tight I only come once a year

$4.00

And she gave no fucks, not a single one and she lived happily ever after

$22.00

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's up, sometimes it's down.. but it wont be hard forever

$22.00

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You're a cunt but you're my cunt

$22.00

A Wise Woman once said “fuck this shit” and she lived happily ever after

$20.00

I Hope We Are Friends until we die… and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the shit out of people!

$20.00

We Had Sex In This Room Wood Sign

Sold Out

Fucking Quitter -Oops I Mean- Happy Retirement!

$20.00

I Never Dreamed I'd Grow Up To Be An Asshole but Here I am Killing it

$20.00

The Dog Has Been Fed, Don’t Listen to His Bullshit

$20.00

Motherfuckers Think They can Have Their Cake and eat it, too. Wrong Bakery, Bitch!

$20.00

Plant Mom

$20.00

Seriously. Flush The Fucking Toilet

$20.00

Grinch, Please Gift Bag

$9.00

The Three Wisemen

$9.00